In online dating, one of the most important tasks next to preparing personal profile is writing the first message to your prospective match. Here is some advise on how to make it well.
Choice of a candidate Be very selective, only those people whose profiles attracted your attention are worth any further effort. Keep in mind, you are looking for a multi-thousand pool of potential dates, with hundreds of newcomers every day, so if you will fail to reach one person, you will succeed with another. Moreover, even if you are getting into a promising development with one candidate, keep seeking and do exchange with others. When you will get into some real relationship, it will be better for you if you will have your options.
Some challenge In our first message we want to get all attention from the candidate of our choice and, quite often the effect is opposite! How to make our first message attractive and not boastful (nor boring), so we will hear back?
First of all, never dwell on some unanswered message. The network is too big for getting fixed on one person. Instead try to improve your writing skills. Find your own style, which works for you. Be creative, honest and optimistic. Your message will have better effect if it will be written as a conversation. Avoid anything which sounds square and trivial.
Nothing generic! Your first message must address each candidate individually: there must be nothing generic there. It is easy to tell generic stuff: it talks about the author, not the one who receives the message. So, for the sake of success, the core of your first message must be built on the key features of your addressee profile. The aim of the first message is to provoke a dialogue based on some common interests. This can be done only by asking your candidate some specific, only his (or her) profile-related questions. Of course, while asking those questions dont miss to tell a bit about yourself.
Regarding the toneIt is OK to flirt and tease (lightly) your addressee in the first message, but please, avoid anything which may be perceived radical. Not a word about sex, no claim that you are his (or her) perfect match. Seeing someone personal profile is not enough for making such claims. Keep the tone of your first message light and relaxed, almost as if you are introduced to a new business colleague.
Final word If your letter is not good enough, you may never hear from him or her back. Try again and always remember, that you probably not the only one who liked this person and your letter may be just one out of many. You have to make it outstanding from this crowd. Give this person a reason to reply. Ask questions, offer your answers, and put some intrigue into it. This is your real chance to get close to this person. And, if you started the dialogue, dont get dragged into a virtual romance, try to move to the next level, seek live date, be pro-active!
